Natural Childbirth

Although I have several half written posts about pregnancy, I thought I'd skip ahead and update those of you who don't already know: Our new little boy was born a little over two weeks ago! He was 9 pounds, 12 ounces, 21 and a half inches long, and as the title of this post implies, I didn't have any pain medication. My husband says I have a ridiculously high tolerance for pain, but I don't think that's entirely true! I know there are many women out there who would like to get some tips on natural childbirth, so here are the few that I have:

First and foremost: Find a good doctor. I have heard a lot of good things about midwives too, but I don't have any experience with that one. Our doctor came recommended to us for her know how and concern for the patient. Going along with this, make sure your doctor delivers at a good hospital. I had heard several people say good things about the hospital where I delivered my baby, but the hospital often will only allow what your doctor approves.

Second: counter-pressure. It's something I've seen in childbirth classes that I thought didn't make any sense. Basically, if your having back pressure, your husband (or whoever) puts pressure on that part of your back. It seems like this would make it worse, but it actually helps decrease the pain, at least in your back. There where times when things had progressed that my husband had to put so much pressure on my back to relieve the pain that it was hard for me to stand(I was leaning over the bed)!

Third: Try different possessions. I found anything that represented reclining caused major back pain for me. I also have a history of posterior babies (they come out facing away from my tailbone, when they're supposed to face my tailbone. When I had my second, he almost came out posterior, but they caught it soon enough so instead of pushing, I got on my knees and elbows and rocked back and forth for quite a while, then I pushed on my side for a while and he finally turned! This time, to solve the problem before the pushing stage, I had the bed raised up really high and I just leaned over it with my chest on the bed, my belly hanging down, and when I had a contraction, my husband would put pressure on my lower back while I rocked side to side.

Fourth: If you can, get in the tub! This is where having a good doctor helps out, at least it did for me. I have been induced every time I have had a baby, each in a different hospital with a different doctor. The first three times, if there was a tub, you couldn't get in if you were being induced, or if you had an IV, or if your water had broken. Well this time I had all those things going on and the doctor said it was fine for me to get in the tub if I wanted. Eventually, I wanted! Getting in the tub took the pressure off my back, and it gave me a bit more of a break between contractions (that's the problem with pitocin, sometimes the contractions don't go away completely!) but I still very much felt it in the front. The downside o the tub was that I only got to have a few contractions in there before active labor was over and so was transition so I had to get out to push! My husband stood on straddling the tub put his hands under my arms and hoisted me up to a standing position. It's nice to have a strong hubby!

Fifth: Olive oil. As you might imagine, having a large baby can be kind of rough in certain areas. With my first three kids I had an episiotomy, and with my first and third it tore pretty badly. This time, my doctor massaged olive oil into that area, and had me take a few breaks to avoid tearing. My little boy's shoulders did cause a bit of tearing, but nothing like I've experienced in other deliveries!


Now, you may be wondering why I would care to have a natural delivery. There are several reasons, but here's just an overview:
I don't like feeling numb to anything. Not being able to feel is scarier to me than being in pain. I also enjoy being able to get up and move around shortly after delivery. With two of my other babies I have had medication to take to edge off of the contractions, or help the contractions even out because I have always had pitocin going, but on my third baby they gave me stadol (sp?) when I was at a 5 and said that I couldn't have it after an 8 because they didn't want me having it within the last two hours before the baby was born because it would make him sleepy and difficult for him to nurse. Not only did it make my head spin like nothing else, but it did even out the contractions and he was born within 45 minutes of me getting the medication, so he was blue and not crying. They didn't put him on my tummy or let me cuddle and I didn't care, I just wanted him to be okay. He was after a few minutes, but it took a while to get him to nurse. After that I strengthened my resolve to not have any medication so I wouldn't have to worry about the effect it would have on the baby, and this one came out healthy and ready to eat!
I also don't respond well to pain medication, I get very dizzy and light headed and sometimes get a slight headache (how much sense does that make?) so I try to steer clear of it as much as possible!

I'm so happy to have my little boy here!

What NOT to say to a pregnant woman

I find some of the things people say to pregnant women and new moms to be funny and disturbing.  It's mostly funny because people seem to have no clue how rude they're being.  Here are some interesting comments I've heard:

First trimester:

"Already?!"
"Again?"
"Wow, you're already starting to show."
"Wow, you guys are just cranking them out!"
"You better go to the doctor, you might lose it." (that was from extended family, and no, we didn't lose the baby, nor come close)

Second trimester:
"Wow, you're due any day now, aren't you?"
"You look like you're about ready to pop!"
"Are the doctors SURE you're not due until then?"

Third trimester:
"You're still pregnant?"
"Are you having twins?"
"Have you had an ultrasound to find out how many babies you're having?"
"I'd be surprised if that baby cam out less than 10 pounds!"  (He came out just over 10 pounds, so I felt a little better)
"Wow....you're BIG!"
"You're husband should be carrying your two year old!" But my two year old wanted mommy, and I like holding him!


Postpartum:
"Do you have another one on the way?" 

And I'm sure I'll get with this one:
"Wow, you're going to be really pregnant all through the hottest months of the year...and in TEXAS!"  So glad to know that others know their seasons and geography.

I am not due until October 2nd (according the the ultrasound I had this week) but I have already gotten the "You're already starting to show!" comment.  The ones that have really worn on me in the past are twins, still pregnant, BIG, ready to pop, and being "sure" about the due date.  And people say then so often!  In my third pregnancy I heard all of those comments at least twice a week.  At one point I had had enough and when a large man at church asked me if I was sure I wasn't having twins I asked him how many babies he was having.  He just laughed and another man nearby said he was going to have a three year old!  It's a good thing that babies are so cute that these comments are quickly forgotten.
I think the most disturbing comment I've heard was at the doctor's office, that even though babies are cute, the difficult deliveries I've had "Just aren't worth it" to have more.  I though that was kind of presumptuous, obviously I thought it was worth it or I wouldn't be pregnant again.  If anyone knew the value of that pain and misery, it would be me, right?  It's sad that so many in the world see having babies as too difficult and inconvenient that the joy of having children is quickly forgotten.  By the way, it's still magical even after several children.
So next time you talk to a pregnant woman, keep in mind that she's probably tired of whatever comment you might be about to make, except maybe congratulations and babies are wonderful kind of comments!


UPDATED 2/14/2012  The day after I posted this I got another comment that I couldn't believe.  I was talking to a lady that I barely knew during my third pregnancy (from church) and she had brought up the subject of pregnancy and how hard it would be "at [her] age."  I will not endeavor to guess what that is, lest I become a hypocrite. But then she turned to me and said
"Yea, and you break out really bad during your pregnancies too." 
I asked her to repeat that because I must have heard that wrong, nobody is that insensitive, right? Wrong.  She then went on to say "What is it that causes that for you?  Someone was telling my what makes that happen to you and I can't remember what it is." 
Wait a minute, my husband wouldn't be talking like that, and I know it wasn't me, so not only are you noticing this skin imperfection, but you're talking to other people about it? Not only that but since it's just acne that no doctor has been able to cure since puberty, all you're doing is speculating.
Awkward.
After some other people tried to interject with hormones causing women to break out in pregnancy  and the first woman talking more about how it (pregnancy) just messes your body up (trying not to take that personally too) my husband interjected and changed the subject completely, talking long enough that people's minds moved on.  My hero.  He said he had been trying to think of something sarcastic to point out how rude that comment was, but the only things he could think of were likely too subtle.  Then my three year old came in and asked me to help him go potty.  Who would have though it'd be so relieving to put someone else on the toilet?

I do wonder about people who make comments like this.  What other comments are they making, and to whom?  Do they go up to overweight teens on their birthday and say things like "Another year, another chin!"  Or do they go around nursing homes with a box of raisins so they can do comparisons?  I hope not, but you never know what people will say!

I try not to take these things personally, but they do make me uncomfortable. It is what it is I guess.

I don't understand why they call it morning sickness if it lasts all day!

As you can likely guess from the title...... I'M PREGNANT!  Yay for new babies!  My older kids are so excited, they are constantly giving my food (even when I have my own) and telling me that I need to feed my small baby (my 18 month old is my big baby).  My three year old keeps putting his hand on my tummy to feel the baby, even though I tell him it's too small to feel right now (I'm due in September)  he still insists that he can feel it (I think he only remembers the end of my last pregnancy, when he could feel the baby).
As can be expected at this stage, I have been experiencing "morning sickness" but it lasts all day.  I experienced the same thing with my first, but with my second and third I only felt nauseous when I was really hungry or if I smelled tuna fish or barbeque sauce.  I kind of figured/hoped that the nausea was only so strong the first time because I wasn't used to the hormone changed and because I was so used to doing more hard core exercise and was then too tired to do much at all.  But I am back to the all day nausea and extreme fatigue and just feeling...bleh.  The big difference is: with my first, it was only my husband and I, he didn't work as many hours so he could make me toast when I fist woke up to keep the nausea down, I only had a few classes or a few hours of work which were fairly minimal, then I could come home and nap when I needed to.
Now: three kids I get to take care of.  Ages 5, 3 and 1.  We also homeschool, and my husband works about twice as many hours a week than he did during my first pregnancy.  So more responsibility and less adult help.  Oy!  What's a mommy to do?  Here's how I've been handing it to keep nausea down and energy a little higher.

1. Have a bedtime.  The kids have their bedtimes, and I enjoy the quiet hours right after they go to bed.  I have always been a very big nighttime person, and had trouble with insomnia (except in Basic Training)  so this has been a challenge for me.  But if I exercise during the day (not very close to bedtime) and don't take a long nap while the kids are sleeping (though any sleep at all is nigh impossible).  Even if I haven't gotten everything done that I want to do I have been forcing myself to drop it and get to bed.  Even if it takes a while to fall aspeep, just laying down and relaxing helps.


2.  Eat when you wake up.  A lot of pregnancy books advise keeping crackers on the bedside table, which is a good idea, but I thought they were too dry and crumbly, and they made me want milk, which I can't keep by the bed all night and it just didn't work for me.  Now I have kids who get up fairly early so I have to get out of bed no matter how woozy I feel.  I have found that eating a banana  right when I get up really calms my stomach.  Then I get the kids breakfast so no one has a low blood sugar meltdown and I eat something more filling for breakfast.  I am impressed by how well this works for me.  It's kind of nice.


3. Beans. Small amounts of protein throughout the day help keep morning sickness down, but I've found that beans seem gentler on my tummy than eggs or meat, plus the smell of eggs and meat cooking when I'm pregnant can sometimes turn my stomach, and beans are lower in fat, which is good if you're eating them every few hours.  Homemade lentil and cheese burritos are my friend.


4. Gum.  I've found that when I'm cooking and don't want to eat right before dinner or something, chewing sugar free minty gum helps make the nausea subside while chewing and for a few minutes after spitting it out.  Then I eat and that helps too.  This only works sometimes, and maybe once or twice a day, but every little bit helps!


5.  Get little helpers.  As I mentioned, my husband works a lot of hours, so the only days he can help me out are his day off and Sunday, when he gets up with the kids and makes everyone breakfast.  I really appreciate this, and tell him often.  When he's not around though, I get up with the kids but I might be feeling drained later in the day.  This is where I love having a five year old who loves to be a helper.  She helps put laundry away, she can get milk or juice for herself and her oldest younger brother, wipe up spills, things like that.  My three year old can put one article of clothing away at a time (more than that and he gets distracted) wipe up a small spill, and pick up toys his little brother has strewn through the house.  My one year old can put things in the toy box, or garbage, we have to watch him to make sure he doesn't mix up the two, or throw things into the toilet for good measure (on the rare occasion the bathroom door is open.)  This helps me feel less overwhelmed so I can use the energy I have to spend time with those cute little helpers playing and reading and stuff!


6.  Do little things throughout the day.  I've found that I can no longer do all the dishes, sweeping, wiping the table down and all that after I put the kids to bed, as much as I love waking up  to a clean kitchen.  So to help with the clean-ish kitchen thing, I do all the dishes in the middle of the day, including cleaning the sink and wiping down the stove top. I've always had to wipe the table down several times a day, but giving it a good scrub somewhere in the middle of the day seems to me more manageable than doing it at the end of the day.  When I am no longer feeling yucky, I might go back to the end of the day so everything feels really nice in the morning, but at least the stuff is still all getting done.


7. Stretch. This doesn't help too much with feeling woozy, but it does help with having energy and when you're muscles aren't as tight you do things faster when you have moments of non-nausea.


8. Use the slow cooker. No this doesn't make the nausea go away, though I wish it did, but it does make sure dinner is ready and warm and not burnt, even if your afternoons are really hard.  It also makes great soup, which helps settle upset stomachs.


9. Water!  Being dehydrated can make you queasy when you're NOT pregnant.  When you are, it's even worse.  Plus, the baby needs that water, and it will help your circulation too!

These are just a few things I've found that help me function and be an active mom and wife in my family's life.